Two Years Ago Today…

Two years ago today I woke up just after midnight, certain that the Mexican food I’d had for dinner had been a bad idea.

4 days

4 days before Harlow’s birth.

Two years ago today, after 9 hours of pain, I finally started to admit that maybe I was in labor, (but probably not) and started timing the contractions… 4 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute.  I called my doctor, apologetically, explaining the Mexican food situation.  She told me I had to go to the hospital.  Now.  I called Chris to come home from work (I had insisted he go in… of course I wasn’t in labor…), and texted my boss that I wouldn’t be in after all, since I had texted him earlier that I wasn’t feeling well and would be in after lunch.

Two years ago today, our birth plan all but flew out the window as things happened pretty quickly, and almost none of the grand ideas on our 3(!) birth plans felt important anymore.  It was just a blur of lovely pain, and breathing, and holding hands, and breathing, and eye contact… and then that sweet, wonderful man with the epidural.

Two years ago today, the baby’s heart-rate dropped into the 60’s.  The doctor and nurses said we had to get the baby out.  Now.  I pushed twice, and saw the look the doctor and nurse gave each other… astonishment that it was happening so fast.  I pushed once more.

Two years ago today, I heard someone say it was a girl.  I heard my husband’s voice break as he said out loud the name we had chosen for a girl.  Harlow Cassidy.  (Good thing, since we hadn’t settled on a boy’s name!)

it's a girl

Two years ago today, at 5:40pm, I fell in love more completely than I ever imagined possible.  I had no way of knowing then, and I suspect I still don’t completely know, the depth of my devotion to my daughter.  How much joy she brings me.  How much patience I have to muster sometimes.  How little sleep I can get and still push through.  How worried I can be about her.  Her health, her happiness, her development.  How much she makes me laugh.

Two years ago today, we became a family.

hospital

Happy birthday to my sweet, independent, fearless, stubborn, happy, smart, beautiful daughter.  You make each day more joyful than the last.

newborn

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